SAN DIEGO: Katia, a 43-year-old corporate executive, found herself navigating a new world of modern dating after the end of a long-term relationship. She was bewildered by the wide array of dating apps and the complex, unwritten rules of modern dating, so she sought the guidance of a professional online dating coach.
For Katia, the online profile was a challenge. She struggled to find the right words to describe herself and the right photos to post. She was also unsure of what messages to send and how to show interest without coming across as needy. She was even uncertain about the correct course of action if she didn’t hear back after a first date.
Before the rise of dating apps and texting, these questions were irrelevant. The overwhelming nature of modern dating left Katia feeling exhausted. She was shocked by the behavior she encountered, such as men suddenly stopping communication (known as “ghosting”) and impersonal, standardized questions.
There is little data on the number and success of online dating advisors, but the prevalence of dating coaches reflects the boom in the personal development industry.
Katia found the conversations with her coach to be more significant and profound than any discussions she had about the logistics of her dating life. She found guidance in defining her needs, standards, and navigating normal behavior in the dating world.
Having a dating coach, according to Katia, is akin to having a sports coach.
According to dating coach Sabrina Zohar, who has a large following on Instagram and TikTok, she doesn’t see herself as an influencer or a therapist, but people are eager for her perspective on modern romance. She originally aspired to be an actress before turning to business after facing difficulties in a relationship.
Zohar draws on her personal experiences to help her clients navigate the complexities of love and dating in the modern world. She offers valuable tools to help them feel seen and heard in an online dating world that she compares to the “Wild West”.
Zohar shared that she conducts about 15 sessions a week, helping clients aged between 27 and 44 navigate the challenges of modern dating. Most of her clients pay between US$35 and US$6,600 for access to her expertise.
Sociologist Amanda Miller, a relationship specialist, is not surprised by the success of dating coaches. According to her, the rise of dating apps and the disruption of social interactions caused by the pandemic have collided, leading to increased comfort in using apps-based services.
Miller also emphasizes the professionalized aspect of dating advice. She believes that modern dating advice has evolved into a professional skill set and notes that the pandemic has shifted attitudes towards app-based services.
James, a 54-year-old startup owner in California, turned to a dating coach to navigate the complicated and ever-changing world of dating. He found that his coach provided similar knowledge to a therapist but focused on practical application in everyday life.
After just a few months, James felt that his coach helped him address his anxieties and develop confidence, essential skills for navigating the complexities of modern dating beyond the simple act of swiping left or right.
The modern world of dating remains complex, and the guidance of dating coaches is sought by many, offering a professionalized approach to navigating modern romance. – AFP
