INTERACTIVE: Parent-child disconnect causing loneliness, depression and self-harm among teens

A 16-year-old teenager named Anisah* sits alone in her room, engrossed in her mobile phone and refusing to eat. Anisah, whose parents work late and are rarely around, said she doesn’t feel hungry and disregards their nagging. Diagnosed with depression this year, Anisah is uncertain whether her parents’ absence played a role in her mental health condition as she has always been a quiet and introverted girl.

However, Anisah’s story is not uncommon, as many teenagers nowadays face mental health issues. The Health Ministry’s Adolescent Health Survey (AHS) 2022 revealed a rise in mental health problems among teenagers over the past decade. The survey indicated an increase in feelings of loneliness from 9.3% in 2017 to 16.2% in 2022, and 27% of respondents reported experiencing depression. Notably, depression rates were higher among females at 36.1% compared to males at 17.7%. Labuan recorded the highest percentage of depression at 34.4%, followed by Kuala Lumpur at 32.4%. The AHS also alarming revealed that almost one in 10 students confessed to planning or attempting suicide in 2022.

The survey further highlighted the decline in parental presence and connectedness with teenagers. Only about one in four teenagers felt connected to their parents in 2022, a significant drop from one-third in 2012. Parental bonding also decreased from 43.1% in 2012 to 42.6% in 2017 to 33.4% in 2022. Additionally, fewer parents were reported to be supervising their children, with the percentage decreasing from 14.2% to 13.2% to 9.9% over the years.

Experts believe that the diminishing presence of parents in teenagers’ lives contributes to the rise in mental health issues. Dr Grace T’ng Soo Ting, an assistant professor of psychology at Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman, explained that parental supervision and relationships play a crucial role in teenagers’ development. A study conducted in China revealed that positive parental relationships and supervision reduce delinquent behaviors and promote prosocial behaviors among adolescents. In Malaysia, a 2022 study found that low parental connectedness and bonding were associated with depression, anxiety, and stress in adolescents.

Dr Fairuz Nazri Abd Rahman, the head of the Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Unit at Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM) Medical Centre Psychiatry Department, emphasized that the quality of parental interaction is vital for teenagers. Many teenagers feel that their parents do not understand their emotions and prioritize academic success over emotional well-being, creating a disconnect. However, Dr Fairuz Nazri acknowledged the importance of privacy for teenagers while suggesting the inclusion of family time during meals and trips for bonding opportunities.

It is crucial to strike a balance between privacy and parental involvement, as complete lack of supervision can leave teenagers vulnerable to emotional and behavioral issues, such as cyberbullying. It is essential for parents to communicate effectively and establish trust with their children to promote healthy relationships. Adequate parental monitoring can also help reduce risky behaviors, including substance abuse and unsafe sexual activities.

*Those suffering from mental health issues can reach out to the Mental Health Psychosocial Support Service (03-2935 9935 or 014-322 3392); Talian Kasih (15999 or 019-261 5999 on WhatsApp); or Jakim’s (Islamic Development Malaysia Department) family, social and community care centre (011-1959 8214 on WhatsApp). They can also reach out to Befrienders Kuala Lumpur (03-7627 2929), Befrienders Penang (04-291 0100) or go to befrienders.org.my/centre-in-malaysia for a full list of numbers nationwide and operating hours, or email [email protected].